When you lose someone there’s chaos all around and for the first few days, everyone will console you, they’ll wipe your tears, and ask if you’ve slept. For the initial thirteen days, you’ll have people coming from all over the country to support or maybe to fulfill the formality, but after the thirteenth day, there’s no one around, and the silence is loud enough to engulf you.
The darkness seems a little dark, and the silence seems a little loud. Your own mind defies you and tricks you to escape facing the reality of losing a part of yourself. Their presence is felt and even their voice starts ringing in your ears, but the truth remains that where your lost one used to be, there now remains a blank space.
It took me more than a year to come to terms with the reality and allow myself to grieve over the loss. In the silence of the nights, or even in the middle of the days; when I am all alone or even when I am in a crowded room, I look for you, I crave your touch and I miss your presence. I regret the words I said, but I also regret the emotions unsaid. I often see you in my dreams, but even in those dreams I have lost you and I wake up with tears rolling down my cheeks.
Do you know what’s strange? Some people try to console you by saying “They must be so proud of you”, “They’re always with you”, or “They’re watching over you” but none of these words will bring you comfort but only act as a reminder that a part of your life is missing. The most important part of your life is missing and you cannot do anything about it. You can try to stay busy, try ignoring, try staying angry but as they say, you cannot run away from the truth for long it catches up to you and hurts like hell.
Sometimes, you even pretend to be happy but eventually, the masks fall off and you are forced to face your emotions. The darkness of death catches up to you and reminds of you everything you have lost. It constantly reminds you that the person you loved, the biggest part of your life is no more and you are still here to face the guilt, the regret, the pain, and endure the never-ending torment.
Poetry, Blogs, and Books 
No words could have been more appropriate to explain the feel of loss. Very well penned down garima, enjoyed reading it thoroughly! Keep writing!
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Thank you so much 😊
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Felt every word of it. Very apt description of the feeling when something special is taken away from us. More Power to you… Keep writing it eases lot of things.
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Thank you 😊
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Moving on is the hardest part of life, but it’s important for a new journey.
Best Wishes from my side.
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A well-written blog, keep it up.
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Thank you
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Befitting
I relived some moments I try hard to suppress. I lost my grandmother in May 2022. While typing this I feel I shouldn’t have read this just because it reverberated few unpleasant thoughts but they eased up as at least , “they must be proud of you” left you feeling poignant and not feeling any regret or guilt.
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